The Reason

THAT'S ME WITH "THE WORLD" !! :) - Salzburg Museum, Austria

If you are wondering this has something to do with Hoobastank - The Reason, No is the answer. Though I am unusually fond of the song and somehow the song is in perfect resonance with my emotional vibes at times, this post has not been inspired by it at. Now back to where we should be. I wondered what would score to be the most appropriate post as 'The First Post' to my blog which mind you, I am planning to follow up for a long time, unlike some of my other prospects. I thought I would answer some of the questions right at kickoff, which include my selections and primarily why I chose an alias, Kristen. ( Ah! Pen Name if you like it that way. ) Plus this post would betray a lot about me to the people who are perceptive to it. Nothing is random, nothing is arbitrary ( For IIT janta: read arbit). Everything is symbolic and has a reason.

CAUTION: Read only if you really think you want to. Else it might incur permanent damage to the brain.

I guess the blog title demands the prime spot. The first sight of the 'Blog title' text bar, bang at the onset initiated a chain reaction of thoughts through me (Pah! I cannot help be a science gal). I scrolled everything and anything through my mind in search of just the right one. I sifted through 'Missing the drive' to indicate as to what the content might turn out to be, but somehow it did not fit. I wondered whether it should be something more optimistic or maybe it should reveal my disposition. Such thoughts streamed through at the speed of light until...it struck me! Why do I wish to blog at all? And hence the hurdle was crossed, the tough jump over the first chasm.

Seemingly less cogent, but highly so, was the template selection. The color was to sketch my person, mirror my temperament. Lightly breezing through all the alternatives, I found two of them to my taste. One black, the shade of me over the past few days, and the other, dotted with a white background, symbolizing positivity and hope, each color spelling a unique virtue to me. ( And also it was just cute!! in a girly sort of way ). But then... both seemed incomplete. So I resumed the search. And would you believe it! Miraculously there it was, right in the end, the blend of dark and color. I am still dumbfounded.

And now, time for the pinnacle change. Kristen. To be frank, I do not know why. It might be because, its the most outward reason, I do not connect to my name. I don't know how many of you will bind sense to it, but those who have been confronted with it, will understand. ( And Kristen appeals to me, I associate myself to it, somehow... Cute name na :) ). But somewhere deep inside I know, the story does not end here. Here is where the clouds, the confusion, the delusion surfaces. I guess I am just trying to run away from myself. Make no mistake, not because I dont like being me or my character or my faults. No. I accept them and learn from them. Just the circumstances. I want to view myself from the outside. ( You might get a glimpse of it in the next post, what I mean by this. ) Get away from everything and see, what brought me to this edge, was I right or was I wrong. It is much the same as doping, but I prefer this way. Just to detach myself from me. Disengage from all the agitation, annoyance and anxiety. Again, I am unsure what good that would do. But nevertheless, it gives me some time out from the dilemma and torment. A vent to let off the steam....

It marks another beginning... For a change, let it be a positive one.

PS: Too much! Whew! I must be intelligent :P . How can my brain process so much thought. I am surprised...